Due to  the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress  has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on  early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This  scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected  to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program  (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and  SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early  Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many  times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could  get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half  Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who  have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by  Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as  much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always  prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should  you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention  of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can  handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual  Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of  electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the  End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

The Truth and To The Point!

  545 vs. 300,000,000 People

      -By Charlie Reese


      Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems andthen campaign against them.

        Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have    deficits?  

      Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?  

• You and I don't propose a federal budget. The President does.
  
• You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does. 
• You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
• You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
• You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

      One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one President, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the

      300 million Are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

      I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its  Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.

      I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a President to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million  dollars in cash.

      The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

     

      Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you That what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

     

      What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The President can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

     

      The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? John Boehner. He is the leader of the majority party. He and fellow House members, not the President, can approve any budget they want. If the President vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

      It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts – of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545  people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

      If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

      If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.

      If the Army & Marines are in Iraq and Afghanistan it's because they want them in Iraq and Afghanistan ...

      If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way
      There are no insoluble government problems.

      Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom  they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let  them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent  them from doing what they take an oath to do.

      Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible. They, and they alone, have the power.

      They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who Are their bosses.

     

      Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees...

      We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

      What you do with this article now that you have read it... is up toyou.

      This might be funny if it weren't so true. Be sure to read all the way to the end:

     

      Tax his land,

      Tax his bed,

      Tax the table,

      At which he's fed.

      Tax his tractor,

      Tax his mule,

      Teach him taxes

      Are the rule.

     

      Tax his work,

      Tax his pay,

      He works for

      peanuts anyway!

     

      Tax his cow,

      Tax his goat,

      Tax his pants,

      Tax his coat.

     

      Tax his ties,

      Tax his shirt,

      Tax his work,

      Tax his dirt.

     

      Tax his tobacco,

      Tax his drink,

      Tax him if he

      Tries to think.

     

      Tax his cigars,

      Tax his beers,

      If he cries

      Tax his tears.

     

      Tax his car,

      Tax his gas,

      Find other ways

      To tax his ass.

     

      Tax all he has

      Then let him know

      That you won't be done

      Till he has no dough.

     

      When he screams and hollers;

      Then tax him some more,

      Tax him till

      He's good and sore.

     

      Then tax his coffin,

      Tax his grave,

      Tax the sod in

      Which he's laid...

     

      Put these words

      Upon his tomb,

      'Taxes drove me

      to my doom...'

     

      When he's gone,

      Do not relax,

      Its time to apply

      The inheritance tax.

     

      Accounts Receivable Tax

      Building Permit Tax

      CDL license Tax

      Cigarette Tax

      Corporate Income Tax

      Dog License Tax

      Excise Taxes

      Federal Income Tax

      Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)

      Fishing License Tax

      Food License Tax

      Fuel Permit Tax

      Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)

      Gross Receipts Tax

      Hunting License Tax

      Inheritance Tax

      Inventory Tax

      IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)

      Liquor Tax

      Luxury Taxes

      Marriage License Tax

      Medicare Tax

      Personal Property Tax

      Property Tax

      Real Estate Tax

      Service Charge Tax

      Social Security Tax

      Road Usage Tax

      Recreational Vehicle Tax

      Sales Tax

      School Tax

      State Income Tax

      State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

      Telephone Federal Excise Tax

      Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax

      Telephone Federal, State and Local

      Surcharge Taxes

      Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

      Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax

      Telephone State and Local Tax

      Telephone Usage Charge Tax

      Utility Taxes

      Vehicle License Registration Tax

      Vehicle Sales Tax

      Watercraft Registration Tax

      Well Permit Tax

      Workers Compensation Tax

     

      STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

      Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was themost prosperous in the world.

      We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids!

     

      What in the heck happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'

I don't know whether you have seen this or not but everyone needs to be aware of the specifics of the excesses of our President.  This is a disgrace in my opinion. 

Last year Obama flew in Air Force One 172 times, almost every other day.
White House officials have been telling reporters in recent days that the Democrat doesn't intend to hang around the White House quite so much in 2011.  They explain he wants to get out more around the country because, as everyone knows, that midterm election shellacking on Nov. 2 had nothing to do with his health care bill, over-spending or other policies, and everything to do with Obama's not adequately explaining himself to his countrymen and women.
 
And with only 673 days remaining in Obama's never ending presidential campaign, the incumbent's travel pace will not likely slacken.
 
At an Air Force-estimated cost of $181,757 per flight HOUR (not to mention the additional travel costs of Marine One, Secret Service, logistics and local police overtime), that's a lot of frequent flier dollars going into Obama's carbon footprint.
 
We are privy to some of these numbers thanks to CBS' Mark Knoller, a bearded national treasure trove of presidential stats.  According to Knoller's copious notes, during the last year, Obama made 65 domestic trips over 104 days, and six trips to eight countries over 22 days.  Not counting six vacation trips over 32 days.
 
He took 196 helicopter trips, signed 203 pieces of legislation and squeezed in 29 rounds of left-handed golf.
 
Obama last year gave 491 speeches, remarks or statements.  That's more talking than goes on in some entire families, at least from fatherly mouths.
 
In fact, even including the 24 days of 2010 that we never saw Obama in public, his speaking works out to about one official utterance every 11 waking hours.  Aides indicate the "Real Good Talker" believes we need more.
 
Related:  Obama spends nearly half his presidency outside Washington, plans to travel more
 
Related:  Vacationer-in-Chief Spends $1.75 Million to Visit Hawaiian Chums
 
Obama has spent over $100 million taxpayer dollars flying around in Air Force One, and probably another $100 million on his entourage.  Obama is just another tin-pot dictator living lavishly at the expense of his subjects.

And we seniors have to "tighten our belts" because we aren't getting a COLA again this year... and none last year!

THANKS TO ALL WHO HELPED PUT THIS GREEDY WINDBAG IN OFFICE!! 

BE MORE CAREFUL NEXT TIME!!

As you open your pockets for the next natural disaster, please keep these facts in mind:

The American Red Cross President and CEO Marsha J. Evans
salary for the year was $651,957 plus expenses

The United Way President Brian Gallagher receives a $375,000 base salary along with numerous expense benefits

UNICEF CEO Caryl M. Stern receives $1,200,000 per year (100k per month) plus all expenses including a ROLLS ROYCE
Less than 5 cents of your donated dollar goes to the cause

Ask yourself....How Much Does Our So Called Community Blood Bank Give Back and What Do The Highly Paid  CEO AND DIRECTORS DO to earn their Salaries?  The employees are discouraged from participating in Community Projects. Why. I thought that there was a sort of reciprocal understanding  between the Blood Bank and It's Donors and The Community. NON PROFIT...Don't think so! Ask for an accounting!
QUESTION WHERE YOUR DONATION ACTUALLY GOES.

The Salvation Army's Commissioner Todd Bassett receives a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 billion dollar organization.
96 percent of donated dollars go to the cause.

Other faith-based charities are also very efficient in seeing that most of the contributions go to the need.

No further comment is necessary.